UsedEverywhere.com

Fashion Survivor: avoid falling victim to these spring trends

I don’t usually talk much about fashion in my writing, but this upcoming season of clothing has me worried. I feel like, as a classically educated image consultant, it’s my moral obligation to stop a lot of women from making themselves look terrible in an effort to

Ralph Lauren 2012...or Golden Girls 1985

conform to the fashion world’s newest obsessions. Let’s see if I can help you avoid some pitfalls this spring.

PASTELS ARE THE DEVIL’S PLAYTHING.

Everything in the stores lately seems to be a shade of beige with some pink or taupe mixed in. More recently, looks like we may be seeing some minty greens and yellows, too. Pastels are uber feminine—and remember, there are lots of ways to be feminine, but pastels are the fashion equivalent of a giant mammary gland. They are not sexy, they are girly and sometimes aging, which is fine if that’s what you want. They also tend to be less slimming than their rich-pigmented colour cousins. If you choose to play with pastels, be cautious. Throw in a pinch of it with some other crisp tones: a soft pink top with a bright white cardigan and blue jeans.

THE ‘IN’ COLOUR IS A LOT OF COLOURS.

Usually every season, there is one or two popular colours. Last year, Kelly green was in—not for long enough, in my opinion. But if you didn’t like green, there were still other colours around to choose from. What’s dangerous this season is that the fashion industry has fallen in love with an entire pallet—faded pastels, as mentioned above—and this means it’s hard to get away from the trendy clothes, and find yourself something that flatters you. A couple seasons back when chartreuse was in, I managed to creep around the periphery of the stores and find some other colours choices…but I worry that this spring

Reitmans. Adding ten pounds instantly.

won’t allow for that. We’ll have to see. A good trick: if you try on the current colour trends and (like me) hate them on you, spend this season shopping second-hand. Last year’s spring clothes will be out at the consignment stores and you can find some items in the right colours for you.

BATWING IS DRIVING ME BATTY.

Everywhere I look, shirts seems to be batwing or simply square-cut. Even sweaters! These styles of tops immediately add ten pounds to most women. I’m sorry, you may like them, but you must be very careful and very critical when you try these on. I have bought one wide-sleeved shirt this spring for myself, and it was because the body was still completely fitted—meaning that you could still see my small waist and well-bra’d bust. If you really want to try this style out, look for the same thing: shape somewhere in the garment to help the eye recognize your curves. Or, if you just can’t resist, compensate for the bagginess with very fitted pants.

JEANS.

I think we’ve all learned by now that leggings are only pants if you’ve covered your bum with a top or tunic. Good. But skinny jeans continue to be worn around by girls with luscious backsides. If you’ve got meat on your butt or thighs—this is most of us, girls—skinny jeans should be worn cautiously. You can end up making yourself look like Miss Piggy, with all your mass at the top of your pants, and little piggy hoofs…especially if you’re wearing a slender shoe. If you really want

Suzy Shier. Elastic: ruining a good hourglass.

the skinny jeans but are a normal woman who isn’t ‘H’ framed with perfect thighs, throw a long shirt or tunic over. Think of the jeans as leggings.

WASTED WAISTS.

Elastic waists and belted waists are in. I’m sad for anyone who isn’t a stick insect, including myself. I am an hourglass-shaped gal myself, leaning towards an ‘H’ frame, and when I try to wear these waistlines, I often end up looking like I have a bun in my oven because of where the waistline visually divides my body. If you’re anywhere over 108lbs, you will likely have this trouble, too. I know it seems like a tiny belt or elastic at your waist, around your belly button, is going to show off your waist, but it doesn’t. Your clothes should visually lengthen your torso (where most of us feel the most square or round), not divide it in two awkward pieces. If you insist on wearing these little belts, wear them low on the low part of your

Suzy Shier. Most of us should wear this belt 8" down.

hips; they will at least draw the eye past your belly. If you insist on wearing the elastic waistlines, I don’t think I can help you.

GENERAL ADVICE.

Put on the clothes you’re consider, then back up. Look at yourself from a distance in the mirror, and squint or unfocus your eyes. Do you look square/wide/round/shortened? If so, it may not be the right outfit for you. Don’t feel pressured to buy styles that are thrust upon you by the fashionnati; they’re typically designing for scrawny 16 year-olds—the models they spend their time with and think are ‘real’ women. If you happen to be a human giraffe, more power to you…enjoy all the clothes the rest of us can’t wear. But for the rest of us: hold your breath and pray for better selections next season.

Steampunk: Dirigibles and sprockets and bustles, oh my!

It’s an exciting week at UsedEverywhere, because we’ve just launched a verycool new category on all the Canadian and UK sites: steampunk.

source: buysteampunk.com

What is steampunk? Ohhhh, I’m so glad you’ve asked. Steampunk is a cool term for the genre of science fiction that has a Victorian feel or setting, and can now be recognized in pop culture from movies like Sherlock Holmes I and II (and even Wild Wild West though the movie itself was horrid). If you see a woman in evening gloves, a long velvet frock, and a fascinator made of brass cogs and LED lights, you’re looking at steampunk. The movement has also invaded design, showing up in everything from scrapbooking stickers to furniture pieces.

I recently met the maven of Canadian steampunk, Lee Ann Farruga, and asked her to walk us through it in detail. You’re going to love this category on the site, both for hunting treasures and for posting treasures…and coolest part of all, there’s a major upcycling component to this movement. But on with the interview!

Q. What is your name and your steampunk affilitations?

A. My name is Lee Ann Farruga, aka Countessa Lenora, aka the Canadian Queen of Steampunk. (And mistress of Steampunk Canada, as well as Steampunk Ottawa.)

Q. How long have you been into steampunk?

A. I have been into steampunk in its current incarnation since 2008

source: datamancer.net

Q. Steampunk is a broad term, but how would you define it in a nutshell?

A. In a nutshell I would say it’s based on Victorian science fiction. It’s a love of the Victorian and Edwardian aesthetic combined with new and futuristic technology.

Q. How did you first connect with steampunk?

A. I first connected with steampunk when I was quite young and it was simply Victorian science fiction.  I have always had a love for literature of that period and grew up reading Verne, Wells, Conan Doyle and others, and watching films that included 20,000 Leagues under the Sea, The Time Machine, First Men on the Moon, and so on.

Q.What are a couple of the coolest steampunk creations you’ve seen?

A.  That’s an incredibly hard question to answer. There are a huge number of great creations out there.  Let’s just say two of my favourites are the beholder by Daniel Proulx and Neverwas Haul (steampunk moving house).

Q. How does reusing and recycling factor into steampunk?

A. Reusing and recycling are a huge part of steampunk.  Tinkers and inventors search second hand stores, junkyards and even their neighbour’s refuse for parts and pieces for their creations.  Recycling was also a huge part of Victorian everyday life.

Q.Tell us about Steampunk Canada:

A. Steampunk Canada is a national organization created to bring together all steampunks across Canada. It is a place for steampunks to find their local groups, local events, artisans, and steampunk news.

source: The Steampunk Home

We are working to promote steampunk in a variety of venues including a number of blogs and websites, social media, local events and conventions, large and small. We have brought steampunk to the attention of publishers and major media companies an

d we are campaigning to bring this community and genre to the attention of all Canadians through more conventional exhibits.

Q. Do you have to be a hardcore dress-up steampunk to go to events?

A. Absolutely not!  We encourage everyone to join in, dressed up or not.  We want all those who love the genre/community to get involved and have fun.

Q. For people looking to post in the steampunk categories, what kinds of things might the average person post in there that would be useful? (ie. victorian furniture, medicine bottles…????)

A.One could post just about anything that is made of brass, copper, bronze; is Victorian or Edwardian in age or style; also anything electrical and/or mechanical; and definitely any antiques, furniture, old bottles, old scientific equipment, expedition equipment, Victorian or Edwardian clothing or accessories, picnic baskets…. I could go on and on.

source: Steampunk Invention blog; piece by Aranwen

Check out the steampunk category on your local UsedEverywhere site. Remember, steampunk’s aesthetic is essentially ‘Victoriana meets time machine’, so there’s potential for a lot of gems to be posted in the category! We hope to have some of Steampunk Canada’s members share photos of the treasures they create with their UsedEverywhere scavenges.

Even if you, yourself are not a steampunk fanatic, it’s going to be an intriguing movement to watch. I can tell you that steampunk has invaded our house slowly over the last two years, and Brian is now in love with the fashion side. I won’t be surprised if I eventually end up in a bustle, corset, and copper cog-and-wheel jetpack.

And be sure to check out Steampunk Canada…if you’re a sci-fi nerd like Brian, I guarantee you’ll have found your mothership. (Okay, me too…shhhh.)

Dust off those greeting cards: here's a tutorial on framing!

Today, we will learn how to make a lovely piece of art out of a greeting card or other small print, without the expense of professional framing. For our project, I used two greeting cards designed by Ottawa’s Mad Mother Designs. We love the Edith Died Laughing series, and have wanted to frame these two adorable cards for a while, but were having the hardest time finding attractive frames of the right size. I had given up for a long time, figuring the right idea would come to me…and it did.

YOU WILL NEED:

-greeting card(s) you want to frame

-cool paper. We used scrapbooking paper left over from our wedding.

-scissors or an Xacto knife

-ruler

-tape

-string

First, I found two mats. These can be expensive, but you can find them in old picture frames; some really cheap, ugly, and even broken frames can provide you with lovely mats. In my case, I had made these two in high school: in grade twelve, I had a teacher who made us make mats for every piece. I hated it, because it’s miserable slow math-heavy work, so that’s why I’m encouraging you to find old mats instead of making your own. If time is money, your time is worth more than all the work it takes to cut a mat. So…I freed my old mats from the high school lino prints they’d been holding. Separating the mats from the prints took 5 minutes.

Next, I went through my stack of cool papers and chose two that had a Victorian feel, to match the greeting cards. When you see scrapbook paper on sale, grab a sheet or two; it’s a simple thing to store neatly away, and if you’re crafting you will, guaranteed, find uses for it. I picked one for each card. This would act as the backdrop to fill in the space around the card that was left empty by the oversized mat. I then cut the paper to be about the size of the mat’s empty middle, plus a minimum of .5” on each side. This is important for easy taping. Cutting the paper took 5 minutes.

Next, I taped the paper in place. This can actually be tricky. You want to be sure that, if there’s a repeating pattern on your paper with vertical and/or horizontal lines in it, they should line up in the frame correctly. If you mount your sheet of paper a little crooked, you will really notice if, like the black paper I used, you have clear light horizontal lines suddenly running slightly on a diagonal. I like to place a small piece of tape on the back of the paper and mat, then flip it over and double check how it looks. Once it looks right, tape all four sides of the paper into the mat. Checking and taping the paper took 5 minutes.

The next step was to prepare the greeting card. These cards have an artfully frayed edge on the opening side, which is a nice design bonus. I used tape to tape the card shut—I don’t want to risk any buckling of the paper by using glue, and while a glue stick won’t cause buckling, it will dry up and eventually stop working. Tape is just best, and I always prefer good ol’ fashioned, nasty sticky super-clear tape. Not that ‘magic tape’ nonsense. Who is it magic for? People who like sandy-textured plasticky unsticky tape, that’s who. I actually cut off half of the back of the card, so that instead of making tape loops and sticking them inside the card, I tape the card shut by taping the new (shorter) edge of the back fold to the back of the front fold. (Sorry if that’s confusing…you can always just make tape loops and adhere the card shut from the inside.) Regardless of how you do it, you are now ready to centre the card (carefully, now!) and tape it down to the scrapbook paper. I used loops of the super-clear tape for this. Taping the cards closed, plus taping the cards to the backdrop, took 5 minutes.

And lastly, we prepare the piece for hanging. Simply, I took some yarn (cut from the fringe of a scarf, as I didn’t want to go find my knitting box), made two fat knots, one in each end. I then tape the string behind the mat, being sure to have the knots either taped, or sticking out the far side of the tape. The knot will help the yarn not slip through the tape and let go. If it keeps slipping, you can tie a toothpick or piece of straw to the end of the string and tape that to the mat instead…anything that adds some grip. Stringing the piece took 3 minutes.

And voila, you are done. You now have a really cool piece of art that you can hang and enjoy. Finally, a greeting card that won’t moulder in your desk drawer. Oh, and best of all: next time you’re at an art gallery or museum and see a cool piece you wish you could own, this is a nifty way to have a small print of it at home. Some of you may be collecting Artist Trading Cards; this may be a lovely way to display your favourites. This entire project took 23 minutes!

One more bonus tip for you: if your piece hangs crooked no matter how many times you adjust it, tape a dime or penny to the edge that’s hanging high. With our crooked apartment, I can tell you that there are various pictures around here that now have bolts, quarters, and buttons taped to their edges. Ah, the joy of old houses. Our bookshelves are also shifted on one side by pieces of moving boxes.

highJinx in Ottawa: it takes 2 women to raise a village.

Ever meet someone who immediately inspires you without even trying? I had the distinct pleasure of meeting not one, but two women with this ability recently…and as fate would have it, these two work as a dynamic duo. World, meet Karen and Leigh of highJinx Ottawa.

highJinx, nestled in the heart of Ottawa’s Chinatown village, is a funky little second-hand shop full of furniture and housewares. For the average Joe, it’s a great place to stop in and find a treasure, whether that’s a porcelain mushroom-theme condiment set (hands off–it’s mine), or a plush velvet settee. This tiny house is more than just a shop, though: it’s a means to an end for owners Leigh and Karen, who use their store to help the homeless and downtrodden. By donating furniture and housewares directly from their shop, and using their proceeds for other expenses, Leigh and Karen work tirelessly to get as many people off the cold streets of Ottawa as possible…in fact, they’ve helped over ninety people and counting.

I met these ladies a few weeks ago and they told me stories of their work, heading out at night to meet the impoverished under bridges and in some of the worst parts of town. These two women, neither of which admits to having a black belt in ninjutsu, head down into areas of the city that are rarely visited by even the most seasoned outreach workers. And once down there, Karen and Leigh do something that no outreach worker gets to do: they make friends with the people they meet.

Leigh and Karen!

 Following the dreams and direction of the individual, this duo helps each person figure out and strive for the things that will help them progress in the steps they need to take towards a better life. On their facebook page, the ladies share some of their history: “We baked cakes, attended school graduations, sat in the ER for endless hours, spoke at memorials, moved furniture, cooked dinner, extreme-cleaned, reunited families, hugged, dropped in at 2am, sat in doctors waiting rooms, advocated, intervened in crisis, attended court, stood up when others would stand down…and most importantly, loved each and every one of them.” For two years before opening their shop, Karen and Leigh fought the good fight and helped 66 people get back on their feet; since opening their storefront just in May of 2011, they’ve added about 30 more people to their list of successes.

As a social service worker by trade, I was speechless when I learned of highJinx and the women who run it. Workers have office hours, so we don’t generally get to make 2am phone calls or bake a lot of cakes. We’re also held to a strict code regarding how ‘friendly’ we can be with clients, and while these boundaries are there for many good reasons, I will admit I found myself envious of the freedom these women had to practice their outreach with their hearts on their sleeves. I think there’s a need for social services, of course, or I wouldn’t have gone into the field…but I truly believe that if there were more people like Karen and Leigh—actively supporting their fellow humans, working to better their community with their own sweat and tears—I would be happily out of a job. It takes a village to raise a child, and it takes a village to help an adult back onto his feet.

I’m proud as a peacock that UsedOttawa and the UsedEverywhere team is helping highJinx grow their good work. So far, in my role as marketing coordinator for UsedOttawa, we’ve been able to:

-gift the women with a stack of business cards and signage to promote their new UsedOttawa seller’s list

-outfitted highJinx with a souped-up seller’s list including a photo of their shop and a writeup about their business

-provided them with a hashtag (#highjinx) that can be used on the UsedOttawa.com site to help connect highJinx supporters with Leigh and Karen

-supported their online selling with upgrades to ‘Top Ads’

-continue to spread the good word about highJinx and help the women drive traffic to their shop (thank you to the entire team)!

We’re encouraging people to help out highJinx in a few different ways; you can read about them by checking out their seller’s list here.

Karen and Leigh started highJinx as a means to continue their work; after finding dead ends when they sought traditional social services funding, the women made their own solution and built this great shop to help raise the money they need. Their work is being recognized, with an Leadership & Community Building award from the City of Ottawa mayor, and a recent nomination for recognition at the CelebrateHer 2012 celebrations. highJinx has a dream for expansion, including “programming, community outreach, supporting community artists, and providing a community meeting space”, and without a doubt, I believe these women will achieve their goals.

I’m grateful that Leigh and Karen have provided a way for the well-housed of Ottawa to support the less fortunate in so many easy ways. Shop at the highJinx shop and on their UsedOttawa seller’s list; donate proceeds from your UsedEverywhere sales; or donate your housewares and furniture straight to the store. There are so many ways to support the little shop that could. I’m excited to see how the women grow their dreams with a little time and a lot of support. As a person with over a decade of experience working with the homeless population, I can tell you that, truly, the world needs more highJinx.

Shelving DIY, cheap and fast–and super cute!

As we work on building our nest–in our new apartment, nestled in an ancient house in an ancient neighbourhood, two houses down from the highway with slanty floors and a crooked bathroom door–we’ve had a lot of tiny DIY projects that are helping to make this place really feel like home. Turns out, they’re quick and easy, and consequently, I want to show them off to everyone. These projects have one thing in common with each other: they take approximately an hour (maybe less, maybe slightly more), but make a huge impact on your living space. So on our home blog, we’ve started titling these projects ‘Better in an Hour’ projects. Today I’ll review with you how to make some cheap, fast shelves that are to-die-for cute. (Or, if you’re into handsome, dashing, or manly shelves…just substitute some cut-up bicycle tire for the ribbon.)

We took the boards home, and I painted them with the same paint we were using that day on the bedroom. I like to use house paint (versus art or craft paint) on household things because it holds up better; if you don’t have any lying around, look at the mistinted paints at your local hardware store. You can get a gallon for around six bucks, and there’s often tons of cool colours because people buy it, take it home, and realize no one should paint a whole room that colour. But since you’re going to use it on accents and furniture, it’s a win-win for you. Painting the boards took 10 minutes—doing two coats.

After Brian finished cursing, swearing, and fighting with the mounting job, I warmed up my glue gun, pulled out some ribbon I had, and began gluing the ribbon around the ugly plywood edge of the shelves. I aligned the edge of the ribbon with the edge of the shelf; because my ribbon is slightly wider than the wood, there’s a bit of a ribbon ‘lip’ on the bottom edge. But this doesn’t matter, because the ribbon is still flush with the top edge of the shelf, so things won’t snag on the ribbon as they’re added or removed from display. Gluing the ribbon took 10 minutes.

Celebrate HER: a call for nominations, and a reminder to pat your own back.

It’s that time of year again: Self-Recrimination Time. You may better know it as New Year’s Resolution Time, but it’s the same thing. It’s that couple of weeks where we assess our progress as human beings to-date, then set ourselves obscenely lofty goals that, through their implementation, imply our accomplishments thus far are not quite good enough.

Women, especially, are excellent at setting newer, higher, and loftier goals, without taking the time to reflect and celebrate the successes we’ve already achieved. This is a trait that I, for my 30^th year on Earth, am committing to changing within myself: I want to become fantastic at celebrating my endeavours, my wins, and the bruises I get along the journey. I’ve been pondering this goal for a while now, so when I learned about the organization called Celebrate HER, I jumped right on board.

Celebrate HER is a non-profit organization developed to make spaces where women can be recognized and celebrated for their achievements. The idea is to “facilitate greater social responsibility within our community” by honouring the work of women who have risen above and beyond. The org is in its second year, and the team is planning a week-long arts-based fete that will span several neighbourhoods of Ottawa Central, while communicating nationally with women (and supporters of all genders) via social media channels. From March 3^rd to 9^th, there will be art performances, an installation, and a special wrap-up party where women, nominated by the public, will be recognized for their achievements in the fields of arts, business, media, and politics. Funds will be raised throughout the week’s festivities and will be donated to women’s initiatives within the city.

Amanda Cottreau—musician, singer, and songsmith—is the spark that ignited this special project. Amanda herself is an incredible musician: her voice has a childlike quality, soft and vulnerable, while her lyrics and instrumentals tell the story of an old soul. When I met Amanda, I could tell right away that Celebrate HER is her passion. A woman who has overcome adversity, walked a winding path, and found her salvation through music, she truly believes in the message of the organization: honour, empower, and rally women and their supporters.

Last year, Celebrate HER festivities raised over $2500 for women’s programming in the Ottawa area. This year, with more community involvement and an expansion on the number of activities through the week, Amanda hopes that the fundraising increases exponentially. But it all sort of begins with nominations, by the public, of women to be recognized. Celebrate HER relies on your word-of-mouth to let them know about special women in your community. For the purpose of the week’s main events, the focus is on Ottawa-based women’s achievements, but Amanda encourages nominations of women from across the country: they will recognize these national nominations through Facebook, Twitter, and other social media channels.

This is where you all come in, and this is where you gently shove those New Year’s resolutions off the table for a moment. Let’s pause briefly, at this poignant time of the year, and reflect on our accomplishments. Never mind the usual measures of achievement…a loss of weight, an increase in income, a lack of dirty socks left around the bedroom…let’s look at ourselves (boys, you can do this, too) and give ourselves some credit. There are many ways to be inspirational, successful, and wonderful. Maybe we rallied our neighbours to petition a local city councillor to clean up a neighbourhood park…or maybe we are marking twenty years as an MPP who has worked to advance the wellbeing of our constituents over those many years. Maybe we started crafting macaroni angels to raise money for a local homeless shelter…or maybe we completed Phase I of our business plan and began franchising our cupcake business in other neighbourhoods. Big or small, many women out there have made a difference in the past year (and perhaps many years previous), and these women not only need to acknowledge their own hard work, but they deserve to be recognized by the people around them. So take some time and consider if you may know a woman that you would like to nominate for recognition by Celebrate HER. When you have someone in mind, email Amanda and her team to find out more about how to nominate.

And for those of us out there who maybe spent the last year pursuing less lofty goals: celebrate yourself, too, girl. I can tell you from personal experience, I absolutely deserve a solid gold Oscar for thriving in a year where my little family suffered job loss, serious illness, a death, and even a condemned, mouldy apartment. No, I didn’t manage to lose my saddle bags, and noooo, I didn’t lead a rally to ensure free milk for every middle school student in Canada…but that’s okay. I got married without becoming homicidal in the process, I managed to survive being the sole breadwinner in the house, and I didn’t cry the last time the dentist put a needle in my mouth. Celebrate your personal victories this January, ladies. Set new goals, but not at the expense of acknowledging your successes to-date. And if you do know someone who has achieved something pretty fantastic, nominate her for Celebrate HER recognition this month. Chances are, she sees her victories as commonplace as you see your own; sometimes, we need a reminder from the people around us that our achievements were recognized, valuable, and valued.

I and my husband, Brian, will be blogging about the Celebrate HER festivities from the NEST (our blog), as we have the incredible honour of being the official bloggers of Celebrate HER 2012. I wanna see nominations for women from all of you! And if you want, send me an email about your own achievements this past year, even if they’re tiny. I promise I’ll write you back and genuinely give you a virtual back-pat.

Let your New Year’s resolution this year be a simple one: celebrate yourself. Celebrate each other.

A final dose of Christmas magic: a real Santa story

For some of us, the holiday season just seems to end too quickly. I will confess, I found myself reduced to sobby tears on December 26^th—a day I loathe every year because I’m not a Boxing Day bargain hunter—when I realized that we could legitimately take down the tree already. Perhaps you’re the same, or perhaps you just had one of those Christmases that was lacking a little in magic. Well, for whatever reason you’re hankering for one last dose of yuletide magic, I want to share a very special story with you.

My father, Bill, loves to tell this Christmas story from my childhood. He will swear it’s a true story, and as far as I’ve ever been able to discover, it really is true. Here, for all to read and take into your hearts, is my father’s favourite Christmas adventure:

“THIS IS A STORY for all those people who have foolishly lost their belief in good ol’ Saint Nick. Both my wife and I will swear on a stack of bibles that this is a totally true story. My children had reached that time in their lives (10 and 12) when the Santa Crisis occurs: friends, school, and television, coupled with pre-teen observation, had brought them to the conclusion that perhaps their parents were somehow involved in the gift-giving process.

It was December 23^rd. My wife and I decided this might be the last time we could visit the ‘mall Santa’ and have any chance of rebuilding Jordan and Mike’s flagging belief. We set out in our minivan after convincing the kids we needed to do this as a family adventure. Of course, Sue had told them I would be heartbroken if we didn’t go and I had played the same guilt trip on them only moments before. I think they came along just to shut us up.

Our first stop was our favourite shopping mall, but all that was left was an empty throne. “Oh,” I said, “Santa must be feeding the reindeer!” To the parents out there, let me ask: do you remember those times when your kids give you THAT LOOK? You know…the one that says ‘you’re a complete lame-o’? Well anyway, we went to three other malls and no Santa was available at any of them. Of course, I continued to point out that this validated my hungry reindeer theory, but we were getting desperate. It was 8:30pm as we raced towards the Lincoln Fields mall. “Give up, Dad, they never have a Santa here!” “The Santa, not a Santa!” I said, indignantly.

As we walked through the mall, Sue and I were truly sad that we had missed our last kiddie Christmas with the kids. Just then, we turned the corner and there, sitting on a chair, was Santa Claus. No throne, no cattle corral, no elves; just Santa. Well, not just Santa, but the best Santa we had ever seen. Even his beard was real. Santa hollered, “Jordan, Michael, where have you been? I have been waiting all night.” Now I must admit, I have run some great scams on the kids in the past but as they gave me the evil eye that night, both Sue and I insisted we had nothing to do with this. “Come on and get up on my knee you two, I don’t have much time!” Santa said.

For the next 10 minutes, he talked to them like he had known them all their lives. Then he said he had to get home to the reindeer (Ha! Feeding time, I smirked). As we piled into the van, the kids thanked us for organizing such a great Santa. We told them we had nothing to do with this, and it was true! We truly had no hand in this. With little patient smiles, they said thanks once again.

Later that night I asked Sue if she had organized this. She pointed out it had been my idea to go to Lincoln Fields, not hers. The next morning, Sue called the office at the mall to thank them for having such a great Santa. The secretary said, “Sorry ma’am, we didn’t have a Santa yesterday.”

To this day, none of us can explain what happened that night; but I have never heard a single word of doubt about the existence of Santa after that.

Merry Christmas, and happy New Year!”

Macaroni Angels: a Tutorial Not for the Faint of Heart.

When I was about nine years old, my mom went on a Christmas ornament-making binge. This in itself isn’t unusual; Mom is very creative, though she doesn’t let it out nearly enough, and Christmas has always been an opportunity for her to shine. I remember that particular Christmas, however, because that was the year of the macaroni angels.

Mom slaved away for hours. Days, in fact. At the end of it, she had produced several dozen perfect little macaroni angels, made of four different kinds of pasta, white enamel paint, and wooden beads. I was too young to understand why I wasn’t allowed to help with this specific craft, and I have wanted Mom to do this one again now that I’m older and am certain I would be a better helper. So last Christmas, as the last two surviving macaroni angels were visibly chipped and damaged, I demanded we craft these anew. With a turn of good luck, Mom found the right sized farfalle, and we were ready to go.

In the end, this craft took:

-three days of crafting

-four adults working on them

-one-and-a-half tubes of smelly glue

-enough ingenuity to create something far more useful, like a cold fusion machine.

I’ve shared the tutorial below; if you’d like to see the ‘director’s cut’ account of how the crafting went, complete with fumbles and bloopers, head over to the NEST to see the post in all its glory.

Let me walk you through it.

 YOU WILL NEED:

-farfalle pasta

-penne rigatoni pasta

-gorgonzola pasta (or chop up macaroni into quarters)

-macaroni pasta

-E-6000 glue

-glue gun and glue

-wood beads for heads

-small beads

-white enamel paint (not acrylic)

-extra-fine tipped sharpie or other permanent felt tip pen

-fishing line and scissors

DAY ONE: ASSEMBLY

1. Use your E-6000 glue to:

-attach the head bead to the penne body,

-roll the head in the gorgonzola, after applying glue to the head, to make hair,

-glue on the farfalle wings,

-glue on the macaroni arms.

2. Let them dry, preferably for a couple days to be sure the glue is set and isn’t off-gassing.

DAY TWO: BEADS AND PAINT

3. Pull out your glue gun and glue a bead onto the head of each angel. This is where the string will go through.

4. String fishing line through each bead and tie a good knot. If you still have E-6000 glue (and your partner hasn’t hid it on you), you can dab the knot with some glue to make it permanent.

5. Hang the angels off of a dowel, broom, or other stick-like thing. This isn’t strictly necessary, but it helps detangle the fishing line.

6. Dip each angel, one by one, into the enamel paint. You may need to take a paint brush and fill in little areas that somehow elude the paint.

7. Hang each angel onto a dowel, broom handle, etc. Beware: the angels will require more ‘breathing room’ from each other than they did before. Let dry for at least a day.

DAY THREE: FACES AND TOUCHUPS AND GLAMOUR

8. Inspect each angel, now dry (and no longer soggy, if you accidentally used acrylic paint), for any exposed pasta. Use a paint brush to fill in these little spots.

9. Grab your Sharpie and draw a little pair of eyes. If you look at our troops, every angel is a little different because no one could follow instructions; but I have more faith in you out there, so here they are: draw two smiles from two happy faces for eyes. Add some eyelashes if you feel like it. Now put the pen down.

10. Hot glue fun things into the angel’s hands: harps, books, holly, pompoms, etc.

SUCCESS: A HOST OF ANGELS

In the end, we had one hundred perfect little angels. Do you remember that scene in Star Wars: Attack of the Clones when Obi-Wan Kenobi sees all the lines of identical storm troopers that those weird tall aliens have been manufacturing? Take a good look at the rows of angels. Yeah, there’s a parallel there. What I loved about this craft was doing it with my mom. I agree wholeheartedly with her that this is not a kid’s craft, so I completely understand why I couldn’t help out when I was little, though even then, it was fascinating to watch her work. But now, as an adult, learning one of my mother’s secrets arts, the experience had a feeling of deep importance. I have inherited my mother’s ability to MacGyver a pile of sequins, pipecleaners, pompoms, and toothpicks into an adorable chotchkie; and for this I’m eternally grateful. Mom’s ability to craft something out of nothing has always been an enviable brand of witchcraft that I hope I will one day master as she has done.

Frugal Flowers: A Crazy Florist teaches us How to DIY for Christmas

The Flower Factory

This holiday season we are attending a couple of gatherings, and had talked about bringing something hostess-y to give. We watched a TV segment on poinsettias, and for the 29^th Christmas in a row, I thought, yuk. I am not a fan of this traditional yuletide plant, and I know I’m not the only one. There are those of you reading this right now that feel the exact same way.

In an effort to find a more updated festive floral concept, I chatted with our friend Christina Oullet, owner of the Flower Factory in Renfrew. Christina was the award-winning florist for our wedding (formerly from a shop called Flower & Flour), and she opened her new shop this past year. We met up with Christina, talked with her about her flower power, and learned some tips for doing frugal and cool-looking holiday arrangements.

Christina had some great suggestions for the florist-wannabe who is looking for clever ways to keep costs down and DIY their own home arrangements:

YOUR OWN BACKYARD:

See what’s growing near and around your house. A short walk can provide you with dogwood, evergreen branches, pinecones, and sumac. Those who live in the Pontiac region can also seek out ilex berries, which Christina swears would be a lovely addition.

These: cute. If covered in glitter: tacky.

Clever arrangements can be done in dollar store vases, or better yet, repurposed tin cans and mason jars. Buy or gather some river rocks and fill the container for support and pizazz.

GROUND IT:

Something larger, heavier, or with more substance can be used to ‘ground’ the piece, says Christina. Some Christmas balls, a snowman or plaster creature may sit comfortably in the basket or pot, and you can build your whacky sprays of branches, twigs, and asparagus off of that. (I’m absolutely certain that Christina has used asparagus many times.)

COLOUR AND TEXTURE:

Choosing a colour palette can be tricky. Easy and sure-fire palettes for the yule season are all-white or all-red arrangements. So how do you make it interesting when it’s all one colour? Christina tells us that texture is key. A shiny leaf with a velvety moss and some spiky blossoms can say a lot without flashing different colours.

WHEN YOU’VE GONE TOO FAR:

Christina recommends that ‘less is more’ when you’re arranging your flora. Step back once in a while, look at something else for a few moments, then look back. The great thing is, if you’ve gone too far, it’s not hard to pull stuff out. Also recommended: search the dollar store for your ‘staple’ items, like vases, cheap Christmas balls, and river rocks…but skip the dollar store when it comes to metallic-painted snowmen, glitter-coated reindeer, or Styrofoam menorahs. A suggestion from Jordan here: consider using an favourite treasure like a

Imagine tucking one of these into your flowers! Lovely!

snowglobe, or big antique brooch—something that is kitschy in an authentic way. Or pop into a florist’s like Christina’s shop; she has tons of tasteful Santas and snowmen that won’t diminish the beauty of your plants.

WHAT TO BUY:

So you’ve gathered your cedar branches, pine cones, an antique angel tree topper, and…you’re stumped. Not a problem. This may be the time to head into the actual flower shop and pick out something special. Christina recommended cymbidium orchids as an example of a long-lasting bloom: these babies last for 3-4 weeks, and there’s lots of blooms on a stem, so if you want to you can buy an entire stem. It’ll set you back by $100-and-some dollars, but if you’re doing ten arrangements with them that were otherwise free from the forest, that’s a fabulous price. Or opt to just buy a couple blooms for that special centrepiece.

CHRISTINA’S GENERAL TIPS FOR HAPPY FLOWERS:

1. Keep things in water to avoid brittleness. This includes branches.

2. Flower food is important, and can’t really be replaced by any of the homemade potions you’ve heard of…but if you’re stuck, a few drops of bleach is probably the best.

3. Fill your vase with warm-almost-hot water. There’s less oxygen in hot water, and the plant will suck it up better.

Cymbidium Orchids.

My advice: surprise a friend with your arrangement and pass it off like it’s no big deal and you just whipped it up without breaking a sweat…it will be your shining Martha Stewart moment of the season, much better than the flan that the dog ate and the turkey that you accidentally seasoned with catnip instead of savory.

For the advanced florist-wannabe: check out the NEST blog for Christina’s 4-step tutorial.

The Art of Gift-Giving: How to give meaningful gifts on any budget.

THE ART OF GIFT GIVING

We’re about 18 days ‘til Christmas now, and other holidays are approaching even more quickly. So there’s a good chance that you’re mostly done your gift shopping, or you at least have a good idea of what you’ll be buying and just need to run around getting it. But there’s always that one person who we really want to impress, right? Maybe it’s because we love them so much, we want to blow them away with a gift that will amaze. Maybe it’s because they manage amaze us every year, and it’s  our turn, already! Or maybe, if you’re like me, there’s just some people that we love to make cry with happiness. But there’s a knack to perfect giving-giving, one that can’t be taught, but can be developed through practice and imagination. It starts here:

EXPAND YOUR CONCEPT OF VALUE.

Many years ago, I read an article about gift giving; the author spoke of a man who constantly complained of being unable to find matching socks of equal wear after laundry day had taken its usual toll on his sock population. One year, his friend bought him 365 pairs of socks. The recipient was speechless, and declared it the finest gift he’d ever received. The lesson here? Sometimes we can give a gift that may seem of lesser value to the untrained eye, but that actually means far more to the recipient than any gems, flatscreen TVs, or other treasure.

NOTHING FROM ONE BOX.

My nutritionist has a rule that every day, I must eat 5 colours of fruits and veggies. This dastardly trick means that I now eat about twice the amount of vegetation as I used to, all in my efforts to eat the colours…the quantity is a bonus side-effect of the main goal. This same almost-accidental concept can work in gift-giving, as well: try to never give someone a gift that came singularly packaged. Some examples for you:

-You buy your friend a DVD. Try adding some microwave popcorn packs and a cool popcorn bowl.

-You find your sweetheart a favourite book. Try adding a handmade bookmark, a fabric book cover, or a throw blanket for snuggling.

-You make your sister an apron. Try sliding a couple packets of specialty spices into the pocket.

These little added touches give you a chance to show your love and familiarity with this person. And it will happen naturally, if you simply set the rule that no one gift will ever come from one package.

LEARN THEIR LOVES, THEN WORK ON THE PERIPHERY.

I used to love penguins. And I made the mistake of letting people know that. The result? I had penguin documentaries, penguin earrings, penguin plates, and penguin slippers. Yes, you can go for the obvious gift, but why not try to think a bit outside the norm? For the penguin lover, perhaps sponsor an acre of South Pole in their name. For the gardener, get a ‘Make Your Own Garden Stones’ kit, and make them some pretty cement stepping stones. For the person who just bought a house and is busy renovating, get them a fancy binder, fill it with those old-school sticker pages, and then divide it into sections like, “Kitchen”, “Bathroom”, etc…include a note that explains your friend should cut out images of her ideal décor items and stick them into each section.

I’ll warn you now, this is one of the trickier, more advanced forms of gift-giving. It may require more improvisational skills than some people possess. But if you grab a coffee, a pad of paper, and a half-hour of quiet time, you can brainstorm some pretty great ideas for the people in your life with particular hobbies or loves.

Bonus tip: take note of a secondary hobby or fanaticism. During the same time I was wild for penguins, I was also writing a lot of music. If someone had surprised me with a stack of fresh notation paper and a box of my favourite pencils, I would have been pretty thrilled. I could have written all sorts of music about the misery of having too many penguin plushies.

TAKE NOTE OF LITTLE DETAILS.

Does your work friend eat the same yogurt every day? Buy them a pack of that yogurt, wrap it prettily, and put a brief note explaining that you’d noticed. Does your husband admire the applewood charcoal at the grocery store but frugally decides to buy the regular? Surprise him with a bag of the good stuff. Does your sister swear under her breath every time she fights with the broken zipper on her change purse? There’s an easy solution right there.

With some of these less grandiose gifts, I find that a brief note of explanation will go a long way to helping the recipient appreciate the full awesomeness of the fact that you noticed these little details and kept track. I like to use this trick for all sorts of occasions; for instance, last time I was at the hair dresser’s, my stylist was arguing with his coworkers about whether or not that classic purple Thrills gum (the one that tastes like soap) was good or gross. My stylist insisted it was delish, and that he wishes it was still around. I happen to know where I can get some, so the next time I’m in, attached to his tip I will paperclip a pack of that disgusting purple gum.

RELAX AND ENJOY THE GIVING.

Take a deep breath. Make a list before you go near any sort of shopping location. And trust in your knowledge of your loved ones! It’ll come to you more easily than you’d think. The real secret here is that any effort to personalize a gift will shine and will make a huge difference to the recipient. And some people will just never shed a tear…this year, I’m planning on pinching my best friend if she’s still stone-faced by the end of Christmas.