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The Problem with Pirate Treasure: Should Party Presents Be Money?

At our house, there’s a birthday coming down the pipe. For months now, the birthday-boy-to-be has been telling everyone that he’s five-and-three-quarters (!!).

You know what this means. The Birthday Party Planning Machine is speeding ahead full throttle.

Photo courtesy of Calsidyrose

You want to get a whole roomful of parents worked up and foaming at the mouth? Talk birthday parties.

Gone, it seems, are the jolly old days when eight kids got thrown in a basement rec room with boiled hot dogs and three balloons, and LIKED it. Pity.

Today, birthday parties are a political minefield of choices about inclusion and consumerism and identity and obligation. And they get pricey fast. Not to mention require the organizational skills of an event-planning ninja.

Birthday parties are an industry now: with rented venues and entertainment and activities for hire. They have themes, and de rigeur loot bags, and in the elementary-school years there’s a trend toward huge gaggles of children converging on the chosen space. Expecting Fun with a capital F.

Yeh. As a mother, the whole prospect gives me a bit of a capital F, myself. Ahem.

In other words, they give me hives.

But, let’s face it, birthday parties are not about me. They’re about the kids.

And my kid? His enthusiasm about his birthday party is a beautiful thing. So I suck it up and muddle through playing the part of Birthday Party Planning Machine every year. I even – kinda – like it. Because his excitement is catching and his delight palpable.

He’d like a pirate theme. He’d like a pinata. Can do, kiddo.

He’d like a skull & crossbones cake. I’m thinking this one: I used fondant for the first time for my daughter’s third birthday last fall and the result was relatively cute and civilized.

Photo courtesy of Meringue Bakeshop

He’d like to have the shindig at our house, because our new place has a huge backyard, and so I am petitioning all the gods for decent mid-April weather and calling that easy-peasy. And cheap. Pirates don’t mind a bit of mud, after all, right? Especially if they’re hunting for treasure?

Dandy.

He’d also like to invite his whole kindergarten class.

Gulp.

Sure, it’s a grand idea. Nobody gets left out, which suits the messages we’re trying to impart at this age.

But fifteen tiny pirates means a whole lotta loot.

My children usually get one big present from us for their birthdays. They also have three sets of generous grandparents, plus aunts and uncles and family friends who tend to send something their way. They’re lucky.

Even if they never had a single birthday party, they’d be rolling in about ten brand new toys every time the calendar turned. That’s a lot of new stuff. A lot of packaging. A lot of wrapping paper in the wastebin. And a lot of sensory overload: even Mr. Five-and-three-quarters (!!) got overwhelmed after about Present Number Eight last Christmas.

Add in fifteen extra party toys on top of that and you’ve got a lot of excess on every front, in a life where we’re ostensibly trying to minimize excess.

What’s a Birthday Party Planning Machine to do?

Last week, a post on money guru Gail Vaz Oxlade’s site raised the issue of birthday invitations that come with a link to a site where you both RSVP and offer a credit card donation, part of which goes to charity and part to fund a present of the child’s choice.

The response in the comments was varied, but the level of vitriol took me by surprise. Some people are straight-up Capital O Offended by the idea.

And me, I’m puzzled.

I get not wanting to be asked for your credit card, sure. There’s something about it that reeks of transaction rather than relationships.

But.

Let’s be honest. The presents part of parties is a more or less obligatory form of social grooming anyway. The present stands in as a symbol of the giver’s fondness for the recipient. The origins of the practice go WAAAAY back to a time when the gifts – which were usually handmade, practical, and often consumable – served to offset some of the expense and burden of actually throwing the shindig. It’s a social practice based in scarcity.

So in a world grappling with excess, does more excess do anything to actually foster the sort of equitable redistribution that gift-giving once served? Or is it possible to redirect some of the excess to places in society where scarcity is still a very real challenge?

And is that offensive? What do you think? If gifts are a symbolic exchange, does openly converting them to the vulgarity of money make you uncomfortable?

Last spring, we attended the party of a five-year-old friend who asked for donations to the local Humane Society instead of gifts. We gave her a card and a ten-dollar bill. I didn’t need to run around town for a gift, or worry that she already had whatever we chose, or fret over whether Plastic Toy A really properly represented this little girl and our feelings for her. A card. A picture inside, drawn specifically for her. And ten bucks to go towards the cats and dogs she happens to adore.

I didn’t think it was offensive. I thought it was awesome. And so did my young pirate.

Until I read the post, we had thought we might go this route.

A treasure box at the door to collect (small) donations of coins, if people were willing to play along. No credit cards. The kids could help scoop and tally them up at the end, and we’d make sure both kids and parents knew where the gifts were going.  A picture of all the little pirates would accompany the donation. Chocolate coins for take-home loot bags, for my kids and all the guests. And the birthday boy’d still get to rip open his pile of family gifts when the festivities were all over.

Now I’m not sure. The Birthday Party Planning Machine has ground to an uncertain halt. I don’t want to offend people, seriously. I just want the kids to have fun and my birthday party hives to go away.

AAARGH, mateys.

What do you think we should do?

How would you word the invitation to cause the least kerfuffle? And would you ever consider asking for donations instead of presents? Why or why not?

Getting Green with the Little Leprechauns

St. Patrick’s Day is the one day of the year where you can drape yourself in green, over indulge in the libations and get a little loud (unless you’re lucky enough to live in Saskatchewan like I do, then you get to do it 11 times a year when you include Rider home games). But St. Paddy’s changes a bit when you have kids (or can’t find a babysitter). Somehow the idea of ingesting copious amounts of green beer loses its lustre when you have to get up at 6 AM the next morning to make waffles and be ready for an 8:30 Sunday morning soccer game. That’s right, 8:30. A.M. On a Sunday.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t have some food fun with the kids. And fun beyond Lucky Charms and green milk (although that would be good, too). Here are some great recipes and from around the interweb to make the most of the day, without having to force your 5 year old to eat corned beef and cabbage.

Now, usually when you read something like this, you expect the best to be saved for last.

Kiss me, I'm Alaskan - photo from MadeWithPink.com

My absolute favourite St. Patrick’s Day thing is this recipe for the Individual Chocolate Chip Mint Baked Alaska from Made With Pink. Yes I know, Baked Alaska doesn’t sound Irish, but wearing green beads, floppy green hats and drinking green beer isn’t Irish either, so back off.  Besides, just look at it; it that doesn’t get your heart rate up, check your pulse.

I know I kind of made fun of Lucky Charms earlier, but they too can provide a simple Leprechaun-themed base for some fun, kid-friendly recipes. Lucky Charm Treats are a fun twist on the traditional crispy rice square, or step it up with these Lucky Charm Ice Cream Sandwiches.

Lucky ice cream - photo from thekitchn.com

You can also strike a balance between sweet and healthy with your kids. Another favourite St. Paddy’s snack for me is the Shamrock Shake. But you don’t need to hit the drive-in to indulge in this traditional treat – or have to work off the 840 calories and 24 grams of fat found in a 22oz fast-food version. Prevention.com’s Skinny Shamrock Smoothie packs all the minty goodness without the guilt.

Photo from Prevention.com

A fruit kabob rainbow is also a simple, healthy and beautifully-presented snack the kids will love.

Now that you have the kids hopped up on sugar, it’s time to burn off some of that energy. Throw on some Celtic music and enjoy a jig and reel, or hide coins (chocolate or otherwise) and have the kids search for a pot of gold. You can still enjoy the day with the family and save the hangover for when your kids go to grandma and grandpa’s for the weekend.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day.

UsedBlog Kitchen Party: Top Five St. Paddy's Ditties

Every Saint Patrick’s Day since I left home more than twenty (mercy!) years ago, I have called my mother on the morning of the seventeenth of March.

(I say morning. I mean time zones permitting. It may have occasionally been some odd hour of the day when the phone finally rang.)

But on March 17th, as early as is civilized, we have an Important Family Holiday Ritual to enact.

Every family has its own little holiday traditions. Me & my mom? Not too many, surprisingly, given that we were a whole family unit unto ourselves for years, until my partner & kids came along. But holidays aren’t huge for us. We’re $20-in-a-card-and-store-bought-cupcakes birthday people. Don’t judge. Still. The one grand, consistent celebratory ritual we observe?

The Saint Patrick’s Day telephone call.

It’s simple, almost foolproof. The script goes like so:

Mom (henceforth called “Mam” in honour of the day): Hello?

Me: Top o’ the mornin’ to ye!

Mam: And the rest o’ the day to yerself!

Yep, that’s it. The whole thing. See, you can totally try this at home, kids! It’s fail-proof! Happy holiday traditions in twenty seconds or less! Just don’t forget the all-important response line: the “top o’ the mornin’” part gets a fair amount of play in mainstream culture, but only the true Saint Patrick’s Day enthusiasts get the “rest o’ the day” bit sorted. Distinguish yourself.

Did I mention we’re minimalists for ritual?

Did I mention we’re also actually, erm, Scottish?

Go figure. You never can tell which cultural celebrations are going to float your boat. Or your leprechaun.

Photo courtesy of DragonFlyCustomCakes.
***

I suspect the strange attachment my mother and I have to Saint Patrick’s Day comes not from any particular affinity for shamrocks or green beer or even the exile of snakes, though neither of us would speak against the latter, to be sure.

Rather, it’s the music.

Out here on the East Coast, Saint Patrick’s Day has gradually become the one grand big-tent festivity for all the varied Celtic cultures and their kin, who in these parts comprise a good 50% of the population. Out of ancient feuds and more recent sectarian discord, our clannish ties have gradually diffused and assimilated, until the lot of us mostly know ourselves through our strange and inexplicable weakness for the caterwauling of pipes and the toe-tapping ti-deedly sounds of a fiddle.

It’s one giant kitchen party out here, on St. Paddy’s Day. And my mother and I celebrate largely, I suspect, because we get to sing. And maybe do a little jig.

Oh, we sing Danny Boy, sure (we skip the high notes). And Black Velvet Band, and When Irish Eyes are Smiling, though since we’re not actually Irish and weren’t big Mulroney/Reagan fans back in the ’80s, that’s not a particular favourite.

Nope, we love the rollicking ones, the rousing jolly corkers.

Now, thanks to the marvels of YouTube, you too can hold your own personal St. Paddy’s Day kitchen party. Hoist a green beer, or far more authentically, a Guinness or a shot of uisce beatha, and join us!

Here are my Top Five Irish(ish) Ditties, for your St. Patrick’s Day enjoyment. Top o’ the morning, the afternoon, and evening, all to you!

1. Lily the Pink – The Irish Rovers

Many of you who grew up in Canada in the ’60s and ’70s may be familiar with The Irish Rovers via their relatively famous and fanciful rendition of the Noah’s Ark story, The Unicorn. With the green alligators and long-neck geese? Yeh, that one. Unless your parents happened to be either rabid fans or Maritimers, however, you may have missed the lesser-known but terribly catchy “Lily the Pink.” In its wry tone and its topic, it introduces two of the five key themes of Irish music: the underdog identity and, um, alcohol. Even the kind that comes in liver tonic form.

2. If I Should Fall From Grace with God – The Pogues

If you’ve never danced to this after entirely too much green beer…well, you haven’t lived. That goes for you too, my teetotalling mother. It also introduces two other key themes of Irish music: fierce, clannish defense of place, and tragic death, preferably alone and pining. Or at least at sea.

3. The Wild Rover – The Clancy Brothers with Tommy Makem

This entertaining ditty – a staple of Irish pubs the world over – gets you clapping and stomping at just the right times. I have long suspected – and Wikipedia kindly confirms – that the “right up yer kilt!” refrain commonly shouted after the “No, Nay, Never” line of the chorus suggests the song may originally have been Scots, not Irish. In fact, in its Scottish incarnation, it may have been a temperance song, a redemptive story of leaving alcohol behind. The afore-mentioned tee-totalling Scottish mother? Is very pleased to learn this. And hoping I take notes.

In the ironies of cultural export, however, “The Wild Rover” has become one of the best-known Irish drinking songs. Hey, we Scots aren’t really known for our pubs. Note that either way, the narrator is that same fey underdog outsider who runs through Celtic bardic tradition. And that here, the Clancy Brothers call it “an Australian song.” Ah, those Scots and Irish sure do get around.

4. Whiskey in the Jar – The Dubliners

See theme 1, theme 2, theme 3, and a nice twist on theme 4: instead of tragic death, we have tragic betrayal. By a woman, but of course. Cultures based in masculine individualist heroism tend to render women either mothers, muses or monsters, easily bought by the baubles and power of The Establishment. Irish drinking songs – and Celtic music in general – are overwhelmingly anti-Establishment. And often slightly misogynist.

But, hey, there’s no accounting for taste: this remains one of my all-time favourites. An Irish classic from the 17th century, it’s been sung a hundred different ways over the years. I have a personal soft spot for the Grateful Dead cover, and Thin Lizzy and Metallica made it a rock-n-roll/metal staple for two consecutive generations, but for St. Paddy’s I’ve posted the more classic “Irish” stage version.

5. Over in Killarney – Oscar

And then, the topper, the ballad to mother, which me mother sang me herself in my childhood, and which I’ve sung to my own kids since their cradle days. There’s no liquor, and only a faint suggestion of tragic, lonely, impending doom: rather, this song covers the final theme of Irish music, and it covers it in spades: sentimentality.

In lieu of an, erm, professional cover, I offer my boy, a few Saint Patrick’s Days ago when he was only three, as tone-deaf as his mother and her mother before him, and couldn’t even pronounce the letter “l” in “toura-loura-loura…” Hey. It’s cute. And if a mother can’t be proud and clannish on the 17th of March, when, then, I ask you, can she be proud and clannish?

This one’s for you, Mam. Top o’ the morning to ye, and happy St. Paddy’s.

Beginners' Gardening: How to Start a Vegetable Garden (for the red thumbed)

So if there is an opposite to being ‘green thumbed’ that’s me. I think that makes me red thumbed, which is better than red handed but still makes me useless in the garden.

I have never lived in a home with a garden. Growing up above a British pub, the closest I got to a veggie plot was an endless supply of potato chips (and yes you could tell by my shape). But these times they are a changing and like many people I am growing all the more conscious about what I eat, what I waste and what I want my veggies to taste like (and that by the way is veggies).

Go big or go home.

Since I’m an apartment dweller, having my own garden might still be a little way off but I am really lucky to have wrangled a couple of neighbours into starting a communal patch at their place. But I’ll be frank, despite trying to read some highly recommended gardening books, I’m still none the wiser about how to get going and produce a good crop of food. I know people say ‘it’s easy’ but I’m a townie and I need basic answers.  So I turned to a pro to ask a few questions.

Val Norton is a master gardener who knows her manure. She can be found answering questions at Seedy Saturday and local garden centres in and around Victoria. (Val is also a hypnotherapist which I only found out about at the very end of our interview – here’s her website: www.rainforesthypnotherapy.com)

So here’s what I learned from Val – thanks Val!

Starting a basic veggie garden – what tools do I need to get started?

Val suggested a fork, a spade, and a hoe, “you don’t really need the hoe but it’s a good idea. You want a trowel for weeding and you might like a wheelbarrow to move heavy loads of soil. You don’t need to bother with a rake, maybe in fall for leaves but not much else.”

Val also recommended you think about how you are going to water your garden and advised against those overhead sprinklers that spray backwards and forwards because they waste water (no manure!), don’t get the roots nice and wet and can allow the plants’ leaves to burn if it’s really hot weather. She recommended a drip irrigation system i.e a hose with little holes in it which will get the water deep down into the soil. I found this drip irrigation system tutorial website that will help you make your own, www.irrigationtutorials.com

Drip Irrigation Tutorial. www.irrigationtutorials.com

Anything special I need to do to the soil? 

Ideally, Val says, you want your soil easy to work with and not too heavy. In the best of worlds you want to get your soil started in fall, turning it over and putting down compost. Soil that is too heavy or clay-like won`t grow much.

Val also recommended using raised beds and getting your plot nicely turned over. “Using a spade, get rid of all the grass and get some organic matter in there. If you compost, great, if not, buy some organic compost from your local supermarket or garden centre, it`s not expensive.” Apparently, if you are all set to get your plot ready in the fall, head down to the beach and gather kelp and seaweed and put that on the soil, it makes great compost.

Also, if you can get your hands on some, add aged manure 3 – 4 weeks before planting.

Do I need to pick a particular spot in the garden?

You want a plot that is level and not on a hill, not under a tree and not too windy. At least 8 hours of sun a day is ideal, so not right next to a house. If you can avoid a busy road, all the better.

Val says: “Make sure that tall plants – ie beans and peas or anything trellised are on the north side of your plot. If on the south, they will shade the other plants.“

Perfect Compact Garden. www.boyslife.org

What veggies grow the easiest in Victoria, what will it be hardest for me to kill?

“Grow what you like first of all,” says Val. “What will not do well are things like eggplant, corn, anything that needs a lot of sun or a hot climate. As for peppers, plant these in a pot on your patio or a really sunny hot deck.”

“Cool weather crops always do great in Victoria so lettuce, kale, brussel sprouts (better bought as little plants rather than seeds), spinach, bok choy, they like it cool so you can plant any of these right now.”

When should I plant my seeds?

See above, cool weather plants can be planted right about now.

Hot weather plants you plant at the end of May, usually May 24th weekend is the perfect planting time

Top tip: “If you grow peas or bean, soak them in a cup of warm water over night – lukewarm. Leave them for 24 – 48 hours and they will germinate much quicker.“

Any good suggestions for buying seeds locally?

Val pointed out that all the garden centres and nurseries here in Victoria are worth buying from and at most of them you will find master gardeners and experts ready to help you out and answer your questions.

There’s also Seedy Saturday, Victoria’s annual seed swap and sale which usually takes place in February.

Is there anything I can grow on a balcony or windowsill?

You can grow any vegetables in pots – lettuce is great, beans and peas not so much unless you have trellasses.  Peppers, herbs, tomatoes, lettuce, beets carrots, lettuce all of it!

Mason Jar Planters. www.notjustahousewife.com

Can you give me your three top gardening tips?

1. Sunny location
2. Good compost to amend soil. Don’t overly work soil and mess up composition, just give it a turn and smash it down, not big clods, don’t plant after a heavy rain – not squishy and too wet
3. Water efficiently

Well I hope this helps you as much as it helps me. It took talking to Val to realise that planting a veggie plot might be easier that I thought. Hopefully in a few months’ time I’ll be showing off the fruits of my labour, time will only tell.

Now without the Allen Keys: a Kit Home from IKEA?

And I wasn’t the only slave to my nesting instinct.  The people I know
who used to sit in the bathroom with pornography, now they sit in the
bathroom with their IKEA furniture catalogue.
~Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club, Chapter 5

There’s something about the IKEA aesthetic: it’s like a Rorschach test for North American concepts of identity.

Some think it’s lean and clean and funky. Some think it’s cheapo mass-produced crap. Some – from the comfort of their La-Z-Boy – will tell you it tries too hard, and it’s weird.

Most of us east of Montreal will just tell you we can’t get no IKEA way out here and then weep quietly. (Dear IKEA, please expand your online ordering options. Thank you).

Basically, you want to know whether somebody is your kind of people? It’s not musical tastes or reading preferences or shared activities that’ll give you the best possible read on whether somebody’s worldview aligns with yours: it’s their IKEA stance.

And now, you’ll be able to tell some folks’ IKEA stance from half-way down the block. Because those who like the look? Can now buy themselves an entire Ikea-style kit home.

IKEA homes have been available in Europe for awhile, and last week, the American company Ideabox released the first Ikea-designed kit homes in the US. The one-bedroom “Aktiv” model costs $86,500 and is delivered by flatbed.

Unlike the bookshelves, IKEA homes come mercifully pre-assembled. No Allen Keys required.

You choose your own cabinets, countertops, and flooring, all of which come pre-installed, and the home is partially furnished as well. The Aktiv is energy-efficient, with a sleek Euro-design feel.

The Aktiv, outside view:

Photo courtesy of Ideabox

The Aktiv, inside view:

Photo courtesy of Ideabox

The Aktiv isn’t sold directly through IKEA, but through Ideabox, which offers a number of options on the kit home front. Focused on efficiency and style, and for the most part on the “big living, small footprint” philosophy that Ideabox espouses, these homes are part of a new movement in pre-fab housing that takes a 180-degree turn from trailers and pre-fabs of yore.

Still. They aren’t actually a whole new thing on the North American market.
***

In truth, kit homes have a long genealogy in this part of the world.

From 1908 through 1940, you could order yourself up a home through the Sears Roebuck catalogue. Marketed as “Sears Modern Homes,” the kits were shipped by rail, and came complete with pre-cut lumber, nails, and fixtures: the early models were apparently fitted with gaslights, and plumbing kits could be ordered for extra.

The first Sears catalogue of kit homes offered 22 different styles, ranging in price from $650-$2500. FOR THE WHOLE KIT, not just the plans. I swoon. (According to the Wikipedia entry on Sears Modern Homes, $2500 in 1908 terms clocked in at just under $60,000 in 2008 terms…so still reasonable as compared to the mad housing market we’ve grown accustomed to over the last decade or so.)

Image courtesy of architecture.about.com

These first-generation kit homes needed assembly, and required more than just an Allen Key. They were often put up in “bee” fashion, or good old barn-raising style, by community members working together. Many were also assembled by contractors. But their ethic? Was largely DIY: Sears Roebuck advertised that “a man of average abilities could assemble a Sears Kit Home in about 90 days.”

Given that the floor plans of some, like the Sheridan bungalow, for sale from 1925-29, are remarkably similar in style to the house we just bought – and at just $2,095, considerably cheaper! – I say bring back the kit home in all its forms!

What the Sears Modern Homes offered, a century ago, was the dream of home ownership made significantly less expensive via mass production, but with quality materials. The Sears kits had hardwood maple floors, cypress exteriors. There are many still standing today, like this charming Virginia specimen.

Photo courtesy of Wikihow

All in all, it seems like an idea whose time has come around again. Modular homes are slowly gaining traction, as is the tiny house movement. For those of us who may require more space, even Ideabox offers a three-bedroom family option. I’d love to see Sears get back in the game, if they could stick with the Arts & Crafts design motifs of their yesteryear offerings.

Or maybe move to shipping container homes?

There could be something for every taste, and a wider variety of budgets than traditional housing allows.

But I think the Ideabox-IKEA partnership may be an important step.

Because what made the Sears Modern Homes work so well – an estimated 100,000 or more sold in the 22 years they were marketed in the US – was that they capitalized on the ubiquity of the Sears catalogue. Everybody already had a catalogue: by offering houses in the catalogue, Sears began to make people believe they could have a house, too.

Not everybody’s heard of shipping container houses, but everybody’s got an opinion on IKEA, good or bad.

So I say good start, Ideabox & IKEA. I just hope we can actually make these puppies ubiquitous. Like, can we get these here in Canada soon, please?  And preferably east of Montreal?

UsedBlog Eats: Almond Ombre Cake

So, I was mindlessly scrolling through Pinterest, as you do — feeling equally inspired and inadequate, when I came across this photo or “pin”:

Gorgeous, towering cake via Apt 2B Baking Co

This cake spoke to me. It whispered sweet, nasty nothings about being out of my league and even going so far as to suggest I return to my side of the tracks and look for a more suitable project — rustic brownies, perhaps. This cake was the “Blaine” of my Pretty in Pink and I was going to bake it.

And so I followed the links and read the recipe on the drool-inducing food blog, Apt 2 B -Baking Co. I modified it a bit because I didn’t have the cherry preserves it called for and I personally don’t let anything as wholesome as fruit get between me and buttercream. I also used 10″ spring form pans which resulted in a lower, less impressive looking cake. But other than that, I stayed on the straight and narrow.

Almond Cherry Ombre Cake (sans cherries)

(as stolen adapted from Apt 2B Baking Co.)

Cake:

• 1 1/2 cups, 3 sticks, softened butter
• 9oz/ 255 grams almond paste, room temperature  (I found it in the bakery section of the grocery store)
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 6 eggs at room temperature
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 1/2 cups cake flour
• 3/4 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 350º and butter and flour (or use parchment paper) 2, 8”round cake pans. I used 10″ pans and reallllly wish I had used smaller pans to get the height. You’re going to be torting or cutting cake layers and the higher the cakes the easier, more impressive this is. 

1. Sift together the cake flour, baking powder and salt.

2. In the bowl of a stand mixer or with a hand mixer, mix the almond paste and sugar until the almond paste is broken up into small pieces. Cut up the butter, add it in and beat until light and fluffy – about 5 minutes.

3. Add in the eggs one at a time, then add the vanilla. Fold in the dry ingredients.

4. Divide the batter between the two pans, shake the pans to make the batter even, smooth the tops and  pop them into the oven. Bake for 30 minutes or until golden brown and a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. I had to bake mine a little longer, but I have a cruddy oven. I’d keep a keen eye. There’s nothing worse than burned cake. NOTHING.

Cool the cakes in the pan for 10 minutes, then carefully invert on a cooling rack and cool completely.

Now, let’s make some buttercream!

Simple Buttercream Frosting

• 1 lb softened butter
• 2 lbs sifted confectioner’s sugar (a 1kg bag)
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 1/4-1/2 cup room temp milk
• big pinch salt

In the bowl of a standing mixer or with a hand mixer cream the butter until it is well mixed, about 1 min. Gradually add in the sugar and beat until very light and fluffy, about 5 min. Add the salt and vanilla extract. Slowly stream in the milk until the frosting is soft, smooth and spreadable. If you plan on finishing the cake with an ombre design it is helpful if the frosting is very soft, but not runny at all. I wound up using a whole half cup of milk here. I’d also like to take this moment to declare my undying love for my KitchenAid Mixer. I. Love. You. 

Cake Construction

You now have mounds of gorgeous buttercream and 4 nifty golden cake layers. Time to put Blaine together!

• offset spatulas – small and large
• pink food dye (or whatever colour you like)
• cake turntable (optional) or plate big enough to hold your cake

If you like jam or fruit in your layer cakes cherry jam is the jam of choice here. But I hear raspberry or apricot will do just as well. I’ve shared my feelings about fruit in cake earlier, so this decision is between you and your gods.

Yossy of Apt 2B Baking Co created a perfectly awesome Flickr tutorial for putting this cake together. I suggest you take a boo here.

So, now you know the correct way to do it, here’s how I  did it.

1) Once cool, trim each cake flat on the top, then in half horizontally. You will have 4 layers of cake when you are finished. It’s really important that the cake is completely cooled before you do this. If you’re baking ahead, you can always chill or freeze the cakes to make this easier. I’m impatient so I didn’t bother refrigerating and the cakes cut like a dream. Like I mentioned I used 10″ pans and even with thin cakes, I was able to slice nice layers without a problem. 

2) If you have a cake turntable, congratulate yourself and grab it. I highly recommend you get one. They’re cheap and make cake decorating a breeze. But, rest assured many beautiful cakes have been made without one. Anyhoo – anchor the bottom layer of cake to the turntable or your serving plate with a bit of buttercream.

3) Spread a thin layer (about 1/3 cup) of buttercream on the bottom layer. If you’re adding jam or preserves, make sure the frosting is thicker on the edges to create a dam to hold the fruit. If you’re going this route, smear a couple of tablespoons of jam on top of the buttercream.

4) Add the next layer and repeat the above process until your cake’s all put together. Reserve your flattest layer for the top.

5) Cover the entire cake with a thin layer of frosting (crumb coat) and refrigerate for a half hour. Crumb coating creates a better surface to frost over and it holds in the crumbs — hence the name. Smart. It’s done when you can gently tap the the frosting and nothing comes off on your fingers.

While the cake chills watch one of the most awesome scenes from Pretty in Pink (optional, but highly recommended)

Now, let’s mix some frosting. To coin a phrase of a friend, “the world is really coming up ombré” lately. What’s ombré? Basically it refers to colour that is shaded or graduated in tone. From jean shorts to celebrity hair, one could soundly argue that this trend is over and done with. But for cake, I say it stands a lovely technique.

1) Split the remaining frosting into 4 bowls, tint three of the bowls dark, medium, and very light pink using food coloring. Look at the Flickr photos again to get a good idea or wing it. You can go as light or dark as you like, as long as you have a nice range from dark to light. I used Wilton’s rose gel food coloring and only had to use a teeny bit even for the darkest tint. Leave one of the bowls white for the top of the cake.

2)  Starting at the bottom of the cake with the darkest color, use a small offset spatula to apply frosting to the bottom 3rd of the cake, then follow with the medium color in the center of the cake and the lightest color towards the top. This is where I lament AGAIN my short cake layers. Take it from me, it’s pretty hard to ombré with only a few inches of cake.

3) Top the cake with white frosting to finish. Using a tall spatula, smooth the frosting on the sides as much as possible. The colours will mix a bit, but that’s okay. Just try not to blend them together. Smooth the top.

4) Here’s where we get fancy. Finish the cake by holding the tip your smaller offset spatula horizontally, pressing gently on the frosting at the bottom of the cake. Smoothly spin the cake turntable while simultaneously dragging the spatula up the side of the cake, stop when you get to the top. Wipe the spatula clean, then gently press the tip of the spatula into the middle of the top of the cake and spin the turntable while simultaneously dragging the spatula towards the outside of the cake. I was kind of freaking out here, but it was surprisingly simple. The cake turntable really helped.

You can see my version below. It’s not nearly as impressive, but it has it’s own charm. And it was DELICIOUS. Honestly, I think it’s the nicest cake I’ve ever baked. The almond cake layers were so tasty with the buttercream.

Kind of like the more-fun, country cousin of the original beauty

I will say, it’s sweet. Like, really, really sweet. Maybe the jam would cut through that a bit. But for me, I didn’t mind the intensity. I just served smaller slices.

Not so much room to ombré...

I plan to make this cake again for Easter. I think the delicate pastel pink will suit the occasion perfectly. Final thoughts? This cakes seems like more work than it is. It was really quite simple and it’s a definite crowd pleaser. In the end my “Blaine” was maybe a little more “Ducky” than I intended, but I’m pretty (in pink – so, sorry) okay with that.

What is this round thing with the hole in the middle?

One of the best secondhand things we ever bought for our daughters was a vintage brown Fisher-Price “suitcase style” record player. Here it is:

Santa brought it a few years ago and we have accumulated quite a few albums of various music and stories since then. Here is a small sample of our collection (the Mary Poppins record is one of my faves):

I still have a bunch of my old records. This is how I was able to introduce my kids to my own childhood favourites such as Purple People Eater and Hello Mudda Hello Fadda. (CLASSIC.) Used records can be picked up very inexpensively. One of their favourite albums is the Sound of Music soundtrack, but I’m partial to 1950s-style storytelling.

The girls have loved having record player, and even now, when I think they’ve just about outgrown it they surprise me and give it a spin. It’s perfect for impromptu dance parties. Sometimes they like to play it fast… so instead of Bing’s Christmas we get Chipmunks on Steroids.  (That’s when I go find the Tylenol and retire upstairs.)

There is a lot to be said for kids having control over their own music. I guess you could go the iPod/MP3 player route too, but it doesn’t have the same tactile charm that a record player does. Don’t you remember what it felt like to put the needle down in the right spot and wait for your song to come on? And then to flip it over when it was done? Lovely.

p.s. If you want a record player to call your very own, you might be interested to know that I just found the exact same one on Used Ottawa. (!)

You can paint upholstery? Yep, here's how.

I spend a lot of time online. Like, a lot. Noodling through the internet is how I earn a living. It’s also what I do to relax. So, yeah… I see things. Amazing things, like painted upholstery. Yup. Painted upholstery has been cropping up in DIY blogs and on Pinterest for awhile now. I scrolled through photos of rather unbelievable before and after photos – dirty, grungy wing chairs transformed into stately jewel-toned marvels. And while I was pretty skeptical about painting fabric, there were just too many success stories to dismiss the idea outright.

Most of these success stories credited designer Kristy Swain’s step-by-step how-to posted on her blog Hypen Interiors. After reading and re-reading her post, I started to get pretty excited. Her before and after photos are impressive. The supply list is short and affordable, plus she has a list of links to successes AND failures of other people who’ve tried her tutorial. I’m a sucker for transparency.

I also had a rather ugly chair squatting in my front room that I ‘d recently picked up for free. I found it on Freecycle and I grabbed it because I liked the shape of it and the size. I had fantasies of recovering it until I looked into the cost/skill required. So, there it sat, in it’s scruffy beige glory, reminding me and more dangerously my family of how I sometimes fail to follow through with my creative projects. I had nothing to lose and half the supply list sitting in my basement. So, here’s my take on Kristy’s tutorial. I read all the links to other attempts on her page and kind of modified things.

Painted Upholstery DIY

Supplies

Nicely organized supplies

• Paint – I used 1/4 of a 887 ml can of Behr’s acrylic-latex Teal Zeal I had left over from painting my dining room wall
• Spray bottle filled with water
• Fabric softener (optional – but I feel it helps with softening the fabric)
• Paint brush – I used a crappy old paint brush as I knew I was going to be rough on it, plus a few good-quality sponge brushes in different sizes (one small one for nooks & crannies)
• Small sponge roller
• Fabric medium – how much you need depends on the size of your project. I bought Americana brand fabric medium from Michaels. They only sold them in 60 ml bottles, so I bought 4 and I used them all. If you can find a big bottle, I’d grab that. Otherwise, it’s better to have too much than too little. You can always return what you don’t use or save for another project.

Here we go

1) Vacuum or even better steam clean the piece of furniture you’re going to be working on. You’re going to want your upholstery damp anyway, so you won’t have to wait for things to dry if you give it a shampoo. I’m lazy, however and I couldn’t be bothered to borrow a steam cleaner. So, I just vacuumed it within an inch of it’s life.

2) Tape off any wood you don’t want painted. Trim off any cat scratch threads, etc & so on.

Pouring & mixing equal amounts

3) Mix equal parts paint, fabric medium and water into a large Mason jar. Mix thoroughly. You want the consistency of a glaze – like homogenized milk.

Mist the area you plan to paint first

4) Mist the area you are going to paint first with the spray bottle. You want the fabric pretty damp.

Brush on a thin layer of paint

5) Using your brush lay a very thin layer of paint on the fabric. Now, how you do this will really depend on your fabric. If you’re painting a velour, you’re going to want to make sure you paint in the direction of the grain so that the fabric lays in the right direction. My fabric was as man-made as can be — textured, but with no pile. So, I really worked the paint in using circular motions. Again, keep this thin. This is your base coat. If you lay it on too thick, you’ll end up with a gross texture.

A sponge roller keeps things running smoothly

6) I spritzed a light mist of water over the painted bits and then ran over it with a damp sponge roller. I found this really evened out the coverage and removed any excess paint. Depending on how much surface you have to cover, you may want to roll on the paint, as well. I didn’t because I really wanted to work the paint into the fabric and I found a brush did a better job for me.

Don't panic. This is part of the transformation.

7) Once you’ve got your base coat on the entire piece, let it dry completely. Depending on your fabric this could take a couple of hours or overnight. I left mine overnight as I was keeping the fabric quite wet and it was midnight by the time I finished. From start to finish, it took me about an hour to get the first base coat on.

Note: At this point your piece of furniture will look terrible. You might even feel a little sick. You’re going to want to keep any naysaying family members out of the room because you’ll be tired and you just might have an irrational over-reaction to some unwanted feedback. Or, so I imagine…

See the difference between the 2nd & 1st coats?

8 ) If the first coat is completely dry, do the above again. Keeping your layer thin and damp. The colour will start to build up. Because unlike Kristy’s tutorial, I skipped the latex layers and went straight into it using the acrylic latex paint, I almost could have stopped at 2 coats. The chair looked pretty cool, but I was committed to a deeper colour. And so, I carried on to step number…

2nd coat - I COULD have left it here. It really looked fine...

9) Time to mix up your final coat! I used just a little less water than I did for the base layers. I used equal parts paint and fabric medium and watered it down to more of a cream consistency.

Totally optional step, but I feel it helped...

10) Add a couple of cap fulls of fabric softener to your refilled spray bottle. I sprung for something that smells wonderful. Why not? I’m saving money on the chair…

I painted in circles to really work the paint in

11) Start painting. You want to lay on a little more colour with this layer as this will reflect the final result. Again, how you do this will differ with your fabric. I kept it pretty thin because of the non-absorbency of  my upholstery, but I definitely painted in on more generously than my base coats.

Keep on rolling

12) I continued to use the sponge roller to even things out.

Looks pretty even-Steven to me

13) Take a good long look at the finished product. Make sure you use a smaller brush to get into the nooks and crannies. Check that things look even – this is your last chance before things dry.

Drying in the sun

14) Let it be. I left my chair to dry in the sun (while it lasted) and for the rest of the day indoors with a fan on it.

The end result

Ta-da! The finished product. Not too shabby

I’m not going to lie, it looks pretty awesome. How does it feel? Hmmm…well, it’s not crispy or crunchy, but it’s not the kind of chair you want to snuggle up in and read for hours. Mind you, this wasn’t that kind of chair to begin with. It feels like of like a cross between pleather & painted canvas. I added another layer of paint to the arms of the chair without letting them dry completely and they feel a little more “latex-y” than the rest of the chair. I read that scrubbing the fabric with fabric softener and a little soap and water can soften things up. I’ll try it and report back.

But all in all, I’m pretty thrilled with the results. Thanks to the fabric medium, the paint doesn’t crack or peel and it won’t come off on clothing. It cost $30 and took me two days to finish the chair because I have kids and I had to start working on it at night. But you could probably do this in a day without distractions. I’m definitely going to try it again. It was a lot of fun and the end result is pretty satisfying.  So, what are you waiting for? Search your local Used site for some diamonds in the rough and get creative.  If any of you try this, I’d LOVE to see photos!

How to Work from Home and Stay Happy!

I am self-employed and I work from home. It’s both a blessing and a curse. I think most people who’ve never worked from home think it’s great (I know I did). And the truth is, most days I love it. I like the freedom, flexibility and independence.

But there are a lot of challenges as well. It can be socially isolating and it requires a lot of willpower (there are a lot of distractions at home… mainly my cozy bed and the TV). I think in order to work from home effectively and happily, you need to set some perimeters. Otherwise, you might find you’re lonely, inefficient and longing for the office life. I don’t actually follow all of these rules… but I strive to.

Get ready EVERY day

It’s really easy to just crawl out of bed, shovel some food into your mouth and sit down at your computer for the day. Next thing you know your husband is home, there’s a half-eaten cake by the computer and you haven’t showered (again). If you don’t get ready, you will start to feel bad. When I first started working from home I was militant about this rule and the truth is… I’ve been sliding. That’s why it’s number 1.

BEFORE

(ok, an exaggerated before… I brushed my hair for effect)

AFTER

Fail to plan and you plan to fail

I have several clients that I work for in a day, so for me it’s really important to break my day into sections and stick to that allotted time. It gets too confusing to track your time (or to keep your concentration) if you’re hopping from project to project. If I’m writing, I close my email and ignore the phone. If I’m available, I login to Skype so people know they can reach me. Of course, there are always urgent situations, and rules are made to be broken. This is also important with your evenings. I find it hard not to work in the evenings. Try to limit your hours to feel like a workday (it doesn’t have to be 9-5… but maybe it’s 6-11am and then 8-10pm). Otherwise, it feels like you’re always working.

Anti-social hermit, anyone?

If you have the opportunity, make a phone call instead of sending an email. Or, arrange to have a lunch date instead of a video call. Human interaction is very important. If you know someone else who works from home, you can meet up and work somewhere together. Even a few video calls in a day help make it feel like you’ve interacted with someone. If you’re starting to feel stir crazy (“I haven’t left my house in 3 days”) go work from a coffee shop or meet up with a friend.

* I google image searched “photo of anti social hermit”, and it just came back with a bunch of normal looking people.

A Place to call your own

Sadly, I don’t have this luxury because I live in a one-bedroom apartment. So, during the day I work at my kitchen table and in the evening (once my husband is home), I work from my bedroom. If you can create a space for yourself, do it. Right now… I’m writing this post from the couch. I will regret it later when I have sore shoulders.

My “Home Office”

(aka The Kitchen Table) Example of what NOT to do

There are some shared workspaces popping up in cities for an alternative to the home office (Halifax has a place called The Hub that looks pretty dandy). But, I think if you follow these rules most of the time, you’ll find working from home to be very satisfying. Do you work from home? What are your tips and tricks for making it work?

Avoiding Second Child Syndrome in Your Second Child, the Easy Way

Thinking about a second baby, perhaps? Or a sixth? Truth is, you don’t tend to need a whole lot the second time around, provided your kids are relatively close in age and you still have non-expired carseats and cribs and whatnot.

But there’s still one investment families adding a new baby may want consider.

It offers years of enjoyment to the whole family, and is an opportunity to develop a whole new set of skills. More, it may save you years of “you didn’t love me as much!” from the younger child(ren).

You can avoid the terrible, horrible trauma of dreaded Second Child Syndrome with one very important purchase: a good camera.
***

I was unpacking box number oh, twelve hundred of the hundredy-million we seem to have moved with.

My children were “helping,” which, with preschoolers tends to translate into romping gleefully in whatever mess we might be trying to organize. They bring enthusiasm to their work, I’ll give them that.

Suddenly, though, the box had their rapt attention. We’d happened on two identical red photo books, plus a matching storybook. My son, almost six, greeted them like long-lost friends: the storybook had been a favourite of his a few years back. Half his life ago, yet he remembered it.

Image credit: author Debra Frasier’s website.

And anything he thinks is cool, his little sister is willing to try.

They pounced on the photobooks. They’re versions of the storybook, but with a condensed narrative and room for personalization: names, info, photos to be inserted. Oscar marvelled over the sight of his tiny footprints, his first look at the world.

Josephine opened hers, and frowned. A clipping from the newspaper announcing her arrival. Her full name, printed in my most careful handwriting, in the front.

Not another thing.

No footprints. No first snuggle with mama.

I remembered buying it, seeking it out to make sure they had a matched set. I’d checked all over town for a copy to match Oscar’s, and finally it ordered from Amazon. I remembered most distinctly my feeling of deep satisfaction when it came in the mail.

At which point I apparently shoved it on a shelf. I’d never printed a single photo for it.

I gaped at my beloved second child, mortified. She gazed back at me. I could see it in her eyes: the uncertainty, the seeds of a complex Dr. Freud would trace directly back to me someday.

Second Child Syndrome in the making. I cringed.

And I then laughed out loud and gathered her in my arms and said, Honey, I think you’re big enough now to make your special baby book with me.

We did that, this week. It’s beautiful. She loved it, and gloried in it.

Baby has a book, now. Every child deserves a book.

Saved. We hope.
***

I am the only child of an only child.

When I was a little girl, I remember being baffled by the ease with which my friends’ families acknowledged the disparity that comes with birth order. Older children won in the attention economy, younger children in the freedoms department. Handmedowns were par for their course, but they seemed to get more candy.

What they didn’t get was display. Photo albums. Baby books.

Oh, Jodi? I remember a friend’s mom saying, when I mistook a framed photo montage of said friend’s elder sister as her. Jodi’s the third kid. She’s lucky we have any photos of her at all.

I was horrified, mostly on Jodi’s behalf. I swore to myself that when I became a mother – to seven beautiful daughters, or so went the plan, back in fourth grade – I’d treat all my children with perfect equity. They would know they were loved by the care lavished on their representational selves.

Yes, you can laugh at me now.

By the standards of my ten-year-old self, I am a total parenting FAIL.
***

Truth is, though, when I became the proud parent of a second child, I didn’t entirely forget my own childhood sympathy for younger kids.

Dave & I did one smart thing when Josephine was born. We did it right before the sleep deprivation really kicked in and rendered us senseless for the year or two following. Okay, three.

(Okay, she’s three-and-a-half, and I still hadn’t printed photos. Mea culpa. But it’s the digital age, folks: her Flickr account is extraordinary).

And that’s the thing. We HAVE photos to fill that baby book, and ten more. Gorgeous ones, in fact.

Because the month that she was born, we stumbled on the realization that all parents of multiple children should be gently prodded towards. We thought, Hey. We already have all the baby stuff. What does a second child actually need? Well, love. And maybe a few pictures of herself to look back on in the fullness of time and know that she was a wonder in herself, never ever second fiddle.

They should seriously hand this advice out in the hospital, for anybody having a second, or third, or seventeenth baby.

Don’t want to make your precious child feel less special than the first one you took a zillion pictures of?

NOW IS THE TIME TO BUY A DECENT CAMERA, FOLKS.

When Josephine was a week or so old, still wee and fuzzy, we found a DSLR camera on sale. It took photos so crisp, you could see the downy baby fluff on her arms. It caught moments that the point-and-shoot we’d had when Oscar was a baby would never have captured. And being able to catch the magic of her tiny-bird self was almost as captivating as she was, so I took literally hundreds of shots. We have more – unprinted, admittedly, but more – of Josephine than we actually ever had of her brother.

The spring after she was born, for Mother’s Day, Dave got me the “nifty fifty”: a 50mm portrait lens that absolutely anybody and their cat can take decent pictures with. All you need is light. And practice. Luckily babies are patient. And cute.

YOU SHOULD GET ONE OF THOSE TOO, PEOPLE. IT TAKE PICTURES LIKE THIS. PRACTICALLY BY ITSELF.

The nice thing about DSLRs is that lots of people learn to use them so well, they actually upgrade. Now, I will never need to upgrade, as I still don’t know how to utilize half the capacity my camera came with, but some people are more diligent than I. (Or talented. Whatever. They probably also put their children’s baby pictures in albums before they’re three.)

But when they upgrade, they often sell their cameras. There are good – even new – DSLR cameras for sale on almost every regional used site, at almost any time. Usually for about half the store price, or not much more than the cost of a, say, new stroller system, or crib, or any of the other things many families already have by the time baby #2 rolls around.

Think about it. Isn’t it worth saving all the expense of therapy for Second Child Syndrome, later?